You didn’t get the job you really wanted, you feel lonely much of the time, even though you’re surrounded by people; you complain about the bad luck that seems to follow you.
If you find yourself wondering about the source of all this misfortune, many psychologists would suggest that you look within yourself for answers. Perhaps you are sabotaging yourself.
Could your loneliness actually be due to a “stay away” signal you are giving off at work, at social gatherings, and even at home? Perhaps you didn’t adequately prepare for the job interview, or you blamed public transportation when you were late. Maybe you are looking to outside forces as the cause of your difficulties when the real cause may be within you–something you can control.
Self-defeating behaviors can be subtle, so examine your life carefully. If you’re honest with yourself, you might find that you are undermining your own well-being by poor health habits (smoking, excessive drinking, lack of sleep, and so forth).
Perhaps you habitually engage in negative thinking (expecting the worst when there is no reason to do so). Or, maybe you don’t plan well in advance so that, although you say you want the job, you don’t allow enough time to get to the interview or you don’t dress appropriately for the meeting.
Of course unpleasant things happen to all of us now and then, but if you find yourself frequently frustrated or complaining a lot, then it might be useful to look within. Talking with a close friend might be another way to understand your situation. You may be sabotaging yourself.
At Lansky Career Consultants, we’ve helped many clients work through the patterns of “self-sabotage” that were interfering with their job search. We can help you, too; just take that step and get in touch with us and let’s talk.
